started out - 282. now - 277.
keep going you motherfucker.
oh i wasn't lyin in my last post where i said i weighed 275. that was on the shitty ass non-digital scale, which was the only scale in this bitch. i bought a Taylor brand lithium scale. and 282 was the first reading. 5 lbs down.
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Getting In Shape
Look. I'm not going to lie. My last post ensures that I cannot take this blog public. Listen - I feel like a actually heart K. I even typed her name right then. How can you be in love with someone you have never met? That shit makes no sense. But I digress. I am 6 feet tall, and as of press time I weigh 275 pounds. I know that a true sexy chick like K would never go for me. I know this, man. And guess what? It's not going to have to happen. I am going to get in shape. Mark my fucking words. I could lose 75 pounds. That is my goal. As of March 13, 2011, my goal is to reach 199 pounds. If I ever got below the 200 pound mark...my confidence....it would be incredible. I'm not just doing this for K. I'd be lying if I said she was no the impetus behind this decision....but that's only because she is so fucking cool. If one day I could meet her that would probably be the coolest day ever. She is literally the raddest chick I know. And I don't even know her. Is it even possible to fall in love with a personality? With no first hand knowledge of the person themselves? You see - I am fucking pathetic. She is the impetus, the reason I am doing this. I hope she never reads this. I would love to see her some day. But if not her, then who? That is the real reason I am doing this. I am going to lose this weight. I quit smoking weed. Fuck it. I can quit eating so goddamn much food as well. I'm gonna lose those 76 pounds. Get back in the 100 pound ratio. #Ratios? #Ratios? #WeTalkinBoutRatios? #AndThisIsTwitter? #ThisIsBlogger? #IAmSoGoddamnedConfusedRightNow #IWantToGetWithK I would even take best friends. I like her. Like I genuinely like her. #Fuck #My #Life
Neglectful Blog Owner
So yeah....I created this blog last year as a diversion and whatnot. It was pretty cool, for like a month maybe...then I just lost interest. Then I discovered my favorite site ever...twitter.
I used to be like "fuck twitter that shit is gay as fuck" before I got on there. I don't even remember why...I think I just kept hearing about celebrities doing cool shit on there. Then a friend of mine from work and I were talking about how we needed to get on there and shit...and so...we did.
My twitter handle is xxxxxxxxxxx. That's not it there are real letters in the place of those x's. But I'm not so sure I want to blow my cover yet. I have pretty much the perfect twitter life right now. I started out just following celebs and shit...then a bunch of Steeler fans followed me. My name does have something to do with the Steelers I will tell you that much. Well I followed a bunch of these Steeler fans back. And guess what? Some of them would comment on shit I would post. Then I would comment back. And thusly, many twitter friendships were born.
The first chick I talked to on there really was N. She is a weed head, and although I haven't smoked in about 3 months I sort of kind of pretended I still did. I mean who cares right, she's in Pittsburgh. So anyways we chatted it up for like a week, and 2 nights we tweeted pretty much all night long. She said "talk to you tommorow" after the second night of that...and the commitment-phobe in me was like "OH SHIT BRO! GET OUT OF THERE!" I sabatoge myself a lot. Refer to my previous blog posts.
So I took several days off twitter at that point, and our twitter relationship never recovered. Which is fine really, I mean it's a twitter buddy, not a girlfriend right? Yeah...right.
So anyways, this new chick I've been talking to a lot is K. And wow. She has posted pictures and her profile picture is of her too...and guess what? SHE. IS. GORGEOUS. I mean N was not a bad looking chick at all, don't get me wrong. But K is like that hot chick at your high school. She is also 6 feet tall, which I'm not going to lie does give me an extra erection. We are the same height I think...although you know generally if a guy says he is 6 feet he is 5'10...if a girl says 6 feet she is 6'2. So I mean who knows really. I wouldn't really care....she's so fucking cool.
We are pretty much the same person. We tell the same types of jokes. We laugh at the same shit. She doesn't smoke and doesn't drink except on weekends...I don't smoke and need to stop drinking. We have literally the same sense of humor. Which is awesome, because generally speaking I love the shit out of my sense of humor. I mean this chick is perfect. Too perfect. She will not be available....I will not have a chance to meet her. I genuinely hope she finds happiness.
Time to end this blog post right now before it gets any longer and sappier.
I used to be like "fuck twitter that shit is gay as fuck" before I got on there. I don't even remember why...I think I just kept hearing about celebrities doing cool shit on there. Then a friend of mine from work and I were talking about how we needed to get on there and shit...and so...we did.
My twitter handle is xxxxxxxxxxx. That's not it there are real letters in the place of those x's. But I'm not so sure I want to blow my cover yet. I have pretty much the perfect twitter life right now. I started out just following celebs and shit...then a bunch of Steeler fans followed me. My name does have something to do with the Steelers I will tell you that much. Well I followed a bunch of these Steeler fans back. And guess what? Some of them would comment on shit I would post. Then I would comment back. And thusly, many twitter friendships were born.
The first chick I talked to on there really was N. She is a weed head, and although I haven't smoked in about 3 months I sort of kind of pretended I still did. I mean who cares right, she's in Pittsburgh. So anyways we chatted it up for like a week, and 2 nights we tweeted pretty much all night long. She said "talk to you tommorow" after the second night of that...and the commitment-phobe in me was like "OH SHIT BRO! GET OUT OF THERE!" I sabatoge myself a lot. Refer to my previous blog posts.
So I took several days off twitter at that point, and our twitter relationship never recovered. Which is fine really, I mean it's a twitter buddy, not a girlfriend right? Yeah...right.
So anyways, this new chick I've been talking to a lot is K. And wow. She has posted pictures and her profile picture is of her too...and guess what? SHE. IS. GORGEOUS. I mean N was not a bad looking chick at all, don't get me wrong. But K is like that hot chick at your high school. She is also 6 feet tall, which I'm not going to lie does give me an extra erection. We are the same height I think...although you know generally if a guy says he is 6 feet he is 5'10...if a girl says 6 feet she is 6'2. So I mean who knows really. I wouldn't really care....she's so fucking cool.
We are pretty much the same person. We tell the same types of jokes. We laugh at the same shit. She doesn't smoke and doesn't drink except on weekends...I don't smoke and need to stop drinking. We have literally the same sense of humor. Which is awesome, because generally speaking I love the shit out of my sense of humor. I mean this chick is perfect. Too perfect. She will not be available....I will not have a chance to meet her. I genuinely hope she finds happiness.
Time to end this blog post right now before it gets any longer and sappier.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
FUCK YOU, GLENN BECK
Alright. So. Glenn Beck. I'm sure no one has ever blogged about this guy. But seriously. Someone needs to. And its me. Because you know why? For as obviously BATSHIT INSANE as he is, Glenn Beck seems to have some sort of authority on some segment of the American population. There is a group of ignorant scum-fucks out there who actually eat this shit up like a Ruth's Chris steak. (What the fuck is Ruth's Chris? Ruth Chris's, maybe, Ruth Chris' even, but Ruth's Chris? Does this bitch Ruth own a nigga named Chris? But I digress.) The first 3 pictures are fake, but the next 3 are all too real. Why does this "crazy preacher" shtick work with people?
I would go so far as to say that 100% (not 99.999, but 100) percent of the people who believe in Glenn Beck are believers in God. Beck himself is a mormon, one of the newer, bat shittier crazier religions out there. This would have been a problem for him to gain mainstream acceptance among evangelicans and hardline christians in the past, but not in today's culture. We are CONSTANTLY hearing from the "media" about how christians in this country are "under attack". They can't pray before football games no more! (except they can.) They can't display no 10 commandments or no bibles in courtrooms! (except you have to swear on a bible not to lie.) There's atheist billboards now! (there have been those bullshit messages from god billboards for years. and i know god wasn't paying for those.) Just this week, in a town of about 3,000 people, King, NC, the whole bible thumping crowd is losing their shit. An Afghanistan war veteran objected to the Christian flag being flown at a King war memorial, and so the King city council took the flag down. Now, CHRISTIANITY IS UNDERR ATTTACKKK!!! The population of King doubled on Friday, as 4,000 protesters came into town to let the city council know they'd had it. ENUF IS ENUF!!!! WE WANT OUR COUNTRY BACKKK!!! RAAAAWR!!!! Went the crowd. Flag companies in the area cannot keep the christian flag in stock. Also, coincidentally, these stores sell the flag. For profit.
Now if any of these retarded dumpster babies had actually taken a moment to reflect, they would see that this situation could have been easily averted. First of all, why the fuck is the christian flag even flying at a war memorial? Are we a christian nation? Explicitly, we are not. I am sure that many soldiers have fought and given their lives for this country of other faiths, and yes, even some of no faith. (there may be no atheists in foxholes, but they are not "true believers" either. deathbed conversions and whatnot). And secondly, I mean Jesus Christ people, just chill out. The park is public. Owned by the gov't. Seperation of Church and State (though Chrisitine O'donnell may not understand it) is a real part of the way we do business here. You just can't change the rules because you want to.
These people are ignorant as hell in the first place, let's just be honest. They believe in Santa Claus. Yes it is the adult version of Santa, Jesus, but he is still a magical being who can listen to everyone murmuring to him at the same time and has the power and authority to grant any wish of ours, but he just ignores them sometimes because he's also a total dick. People like this are EXTREMELY easily molded, taught, and controlled. A pastor sees them for 1 hour a week, and most of them look over their shoulders for the rest of the week and act as though Jesus is watching their every action. They pray before dinner. They pray when they wake up and when they go to sleep. And all of this based on some 2000 year old book (or collection of books, excuse me) and the rantings and ravings of a blowhard on Sunday mornings.
Now imagine this same blowhard from Sunday mornings was actually a charismatic speaker. And imagine he wasn't talking about irrelevant, 2000 year old precepts and chastising you on how to live your life, but was talking about modern, relevant things. And what could be more relevant than the collapse of America? And who more charismatic then Beck? Imagine you saw this blowhard, not for an hour a week, but four hours a day, five days a week. He is the perfect moron, at the perfect time, poised to lead a sea of moronical morons to the promised land. The problem? He is a shill. He makes shit up. He sells commercials. There's no conspiracy, America. George Soros is not hiding underneath your bed, waiting on you to fall asleep so he can buttfuck you. Barack Obama is not the reincarnation of Hitler, nor is he the worst president in American history (or even this millenium, for that matter).
Read this transcript of one of Becks' shows: http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,602023,00.html
I mean, really, Glenn Beck, you can't make some of that shit up. Beck's quotes in italics, to accent the crazy:
Now, the Illinois League of Women Voters jumped to the moderator's defense. Executive Director Jan Czarnik — notice she has "czar" in her last name — is calling this phony patriotism by supporters of candidate Joe Walsh in order to just bully the organization.
She's even hosted campaign event in her home in 2007, part of her post on OFA's — Organizing for America — Web site, Hope Action Change: "On March 31st, people across America open their homes to friends, families, neighbors, to kick off a week of support for a movement for Barack Obama and the movement to change America."
That's great. I didn't know that change was, you know, meant to abandon the Pledge, but hey.
Now, what about czar — Jan Czarnik — just another regular woman voter from the League of Women Voters. Well — and she also worked with ACORN's Project Vote, which is funded by Tides, and Soros, his Democracy Alliance, which she also worked with progressive people for the American Way, which is a group that recently joined Tides to call for the advertisers to stop advertising on FOX because of this program, which is also funded by George Soros. It's weird, isn't it?
They're so neutral that it's almost like they're not. They're so neutral that they're almost like in bed with George Soros of Tides.
America, I mean, all you have to do — all of this stuff can be found. It's not hidden. It's not hidden. It's all the same people.
You are being duped. You got to get out and flood the voting booths next week. Do your own homework.
Don't take my word for it. Don't take the League of Women Voters. Ooh! Really? I'll add that to my list of people that I don't trust anymore.
I mean, all of this you can do on your own. Don't you look to me or anybody else to tell you. But don't take things at face value anymore.
Wow. There is so much wrong with all of those statements, I don't even know where to begin. Czarina = czar? Maybe if I use fucked up russian words out of context, my retarded viewers will get skeerd and associate those people with commies. Socialists. Yeah, lets work this whole George Soros / Tides foundation angle some more. Next time I want there to be fucking murders.
The trouble with Beck is, that for as OBVIOUSLY INSANE and FUCKED UP as he is, people out there believe him. They believe EVERY FUCKING WORD. And they're pissed off, some of them are so mad that they are prepared to kill the people Beck attacks. And Beck will not stop attacking the people he says are attacking America. They say he's crazy? He says they're crazy. And the world goes round and round.
If you fall for the lie of Christianity or Mormonism or any other religion you are much more likely to fall for the lies of Glenn Beck. We need to wake up people. Religions are man made creations. They are just fictional stories that some guy (or guys) made up. You wouldn't live your life based on a Tom Clancy novel, would you?
FANTASY...football
So...fantasy football. I suck at it. Sometimes. I've got 2 teams. In the 6 team league with friends of mine, my team is the Slim Roethlisberger's. This is in reference to the Eminem line "come up in this game like a rapist, they call me slim roethlisberger." Which is a funny line. Big ben is on my team as well. That team I'm alright on, doing ok. I think I'm making mostly solid moves. Fucking injuries. My league in my family team is doing alright as well I think. After everyone was on a fucking bye this week. That team is named Boss. Due to the fact that they are boss. Kevin Boss is not on that team, nor will he ever be. Eli sucks.
The Slim Roethlisberger's were soundly defeated this weekend by my friend/roomate's team, los huevos. We are currently both tied for second place behind Team Chaos. My record is 4-3, his is 4-2-1. What kind of fag ties. Dallas Clark was out for the season this week, so I had to cut him and get a new tight end. I signed Jeremy Shockey, like a reh-tard, and he got me all of 3 fucking points against the browns. As punishment, I cut him, and signed Chris Cooley. This morning I watched some highlights from Oakland's game and then read an article about how much Darren McFadden is improved, so I cut Malcolm Floyd and signed his ass to my squad. I'm starting him next week as well against the Seahwaks fuck em.
Next Week's Matchup - Slim Roethlisberger's (4-3) vs. Redbeards (3-3-1)
I am picked to win the contest 87-67 atm, but fuckface has no tight end or kicker right now (their on byes). We will see how this matchup shapes up.
In my family league I bodied my pops 106-68. Big week from my boys. Everyone was really good I got about 15 points from them all, no one went crazy but everyone showed up. Rare.
Matchup - Boss (4-3) vs. Clueless Mom (4-3)
Im picked to win 107-77, but she still needs to pick a running back. I traded her Austin Collie for Calvin Johnson 2 weeks ago, and now Collie is out several weeks with his wrist/thumb issues. I kind of feel bad, but not really. My starting WR's are now: Andre Johnson, Reggie Wayne, and Calvin Johnson. Kind of extreme.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
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